Drowning in You
by IntoTheGrey
Summary: Tragedy often leads to revelations. Johnny was like a knight in rusted armor, showing up right when she needed him the most. Things have changed in both of them, and now... now they would try again. Both understanding the other far better than ever before. Traits from one begin to effect the other. IT's a messed up world they live in, but it's theirs.


Disclaimer: Nothing contained in this fic is my own original creation. All rights reserved to Jhonen Vesquez, and the various publishers and production companies that handle his works. I am making no profit off of this story, and am only borrowing characters for my own sick amusement. Hopefully yours as well.

Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?Z?

The purple haired woman screamed as her head bounced off of the concrete wall behind her, the impact causing her to lose her grip on the can of mace she always had in her hand while walking about the shithole of a city she called home. Her head throbbed, but despite that she still opened her eyes, panic rising as she looked up at the man that was towering over her. He smelled of beer and sweat. However, with the street light behind him, she couldn't make out any details other than those. The man's hand held her wrist in a vice like grip, and no amount of pulling and twisting could get her away from him… all it did was make her arm hurt more… she was sure if she kept trying, she'd break it.

"Lemme go, fuck face!" She yelled, trying to aim a kick, but failing as he twisted out of the way, she couldn't get a good aim of anything vital anyways.

"Aww c'mon lady, I saw ya lookin' at me in the store, don't act like ya ain't want this." He said, moving his slimy mouth down to her face, she tried not to retch at the smell… stale alcohol, cigarettes and the unmistakable scent of tooth rot.

"I wasn't looking at anything, asshole!" She yelled, going back to trying to wriggle herself free… it was useless… he just pressed his gigantic frame against her harder. The man was massive, with at least a foot of height on her, and easily two-hundred pounds. How the FUCK was she supposed to get out of this?! Her mind was screaming at her, and those cries increased as her shirt was torn open… her pants ripped cleanly away from her skin. "NO PLEASE!" She screamed, trying to claw at the hand that was holding both of hers together.

She knew he was fumbling with his own pants, she knew what was about to happen, and the agony of knowing she couldn't stop it was crushing her. She slammed her eyes closed and…

THWACK!

There was suddenly no weight pinning her to the wall. She slid down it, landing painfully on her hip. Pain radiated from the sudden fall, shooting up her back and neck, and through her leg. The rough ground scraping and digging into her exposed skin. The first thing she registered after recovering was… her would be rapist was laying on the blacktop, and there was someone else there. Someone she couldn't see.

"Run, Devi. Go get in the car." They said, and her blood ran cold. She knew that voice, she would know that voice for the rest of her life.

"Nny…?" She said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Go Devi." He repeated, she could tell he wasn't facing her. Probably facing the man groaning on the ground.

"I-I can't…" She said, as she tried to stand… it would seem she'd landed first on her ankle, and it was shooting firey pain up and down her leg.

She heard shuffling for a moment, and suddenly he was right in front of her, crouching down. Instinctively she covered her chest with her arms, trying to maneuver her legs to cover her lower bits. Flinching as he moved, she felt a warm weight envelope her. He draped his coat over her exposed body. "Then close your eyes." He said, brushing some hair out of her eyes. His voice had gone from commanding to soft. Devi blinked once, and nodded, turning her head away and squeezed her eyes shut.

Honestly, it might have been better if she left them open, because her mind was making up images to go with the cacophony of noise she was suddenly hearing. Ripping, wet noises, gurgles, screams. She had to bury her face into the coat, as if somehow that would make it better.

Finally, it all stopped. It felt like hours, but was probably only moments. But still, she didn't look. Her eyes opened, but she remained looking away, not wanting to know what he'd done. Not wanting more to acknowledge that she felt it was justified.

In an instant, she felt herself being lifted off of the ground by a pair of skinny, but strong arms. In her numbness, she forgot how terrified she was of the man carrying her. "Don't look back." He whispered to her, as he carried her out of the alley.

She didn't. Not even as he slid her into the front seat of his car, or when he was no longer obscuring his vision. All she could do was sink into the seat, hugging his long coat around her. Her head hurt a lot, and she really wanted to sleep.

"Don't fall asleep, Devi." He whispered, taking her hand into his.

Time was moving weird, somehow slow and too fast at once, because she suddenly found herself being lifted from the seat, and carried. Stairs, there were stairs. He was taking her to her place. Shit, her keys, they were… in the alley.

"Here." He said, shifting her to one arm, before digging into the pocket of his pants, pressing her keys into her hand.

When they arrived at her door, he carefully set her down on her feet, keeping most of her weight against him while she fumbled with the keys for a moment. Eventually getting the door unlocked and opened. For the third time, she was scooped up, like a bride on her wedding night, and carried into her small apartment.

Devi was placed on the couch, and without a word he disappeared into her bedroom, coming out a moment later with one of her extra large t shirts that she used as pajamas. He handed it to her, and turned away.

Assuming this meant he wanted her to put it on, she shed his coat, and quickly pulled the black thing over her head.

"Nny?" She said, her hand twitching a little to reach out and touch him. But she didn't… couldn't. It was like she was frozen in place, like this moment paused. But his head turned, slowly, and he finally looked at her. The expression on his face was haunted, and hurt. For the first time tonight she got a good look at him, he wasn't quite as skinny as she remembered. Skin not so sallow. Still pale, but almost healthier. Hair was shorter, with two long pieces that hung over his eyes. And blood… so much blood. It didn't bother her as much as it should… all that blood and knowing how it got there.

God her head hurt..

"We should… uh… get you cleaned up." He said, eyes shifting away from her.

"You too…" She said, looking over him. Johnny shook his head, making a dismissive gesture with his hand.

"I'm fine… no injuries."

"Yeah but still… if you're gonna be… helping me, I'd really prefer you not to be… soaked in that asshole's blood."

"Oh! Right." He nodded, almost bouncing into the kitchen where she heard water running. Sighing, Devi tried to adjust herself on the couch, which was difficult with one functioning hand. Her wrist was still throbbing, but she could kind of move it, so that was good, right? Just like her ankle… nothing was broken. But everything hurt. Every inch of her body was screaming in protest at her attempts to move it.

Johnny came out, holding a bowl of soapy water and a cloth. "Do you… do you need me to help or…" He trailed off, and Devi took a deep breath, biting her lip nervously before she nodded. As much as she would love to do this herself… she knew she wasn't in any shape to. "O-okay." He said, as he sat the things on the table.

With shaking hands, Devi pulled up the hem of the t shirt, lifting it as best she could off her head, and dropping it into her lap… for as much dignity as it could save her. Johnny gulped, before shifting his eyes over to her. He was smacked with too many emotions at once. Lust, because there was the most beautiful, incredible, amazing woman he'd ever known, completely naked in front of him. Sadness… because she was so broken. And rage… because of the state she was in. Her wrist, neck, hips and breasts were sporting darkening, painful bruises. Road rash covered her leg, back and face. He killed that fucker too fast, he realized. He should have drug it out… make it as long and painful as he could. Who the fuck did that fucker think he was to be able to touch Devi. DEVI. His muse and Goddess. Even he wasn't worthy of touching her. Johnny had to take a deep breath to calm himself… before he moved, sitting on the edge of the table in front of her.

How the hell did he even get here? He had been at the Gross-ree, just picking up some food for the next few days when he'd spotted here. She was checking out too, but he knew not to approach her. He'd promised her his nothing, and as much as it hurt his already tormented heart, he intended to keep that promise. But then… then he'd seen the guy following her. So he followed too, just… just to make sure she got home safe. But he was in a car, and she was on her feet, so he'd gotten stopped at one point, and lost her. That was when he parked and tore down the street on foot too. It was a scream that he followed, that lead him to that alley where that fucking shit smeared mongoloid had her naked, and crushed against a wall. He hadn't even thought… just acted. Sure that he'd never felt a rage like this before. But Devi had been his concern really… he just wanted to kill the fucker and get her out of there.

And now here he sat… using the soft rag to carefully clean the dirt and gravel out of her skin, that was red and irritated and painful. At some point he'd gone into her bathroom, finding the bactine and bruise balm. Fortunately, it didn't seem like anything was broken… other than Devi's mind. She just sat quietly, staring off, moving when he asked her too. Devi had never been this compliant, and he had to wonder if this is what she'd been like after he attacked her too. The thought made him flinch, that he could have brought this Goddess to her knees like this. Yeah, he still hated himself. He feared the moment she snapped out of it, and realized who he was.

Johnny stopped when he had cleaned everything he was comfortable cleaning, and dabbed the bactine in to the open wounds. Still, he took a deep breath.

"Devi?" He asked, and her eyes floated over to him. "Did he… you know…" He gestured at the shirt in her lap.

"Oh… no. He was gonna, but no." She said, shaking her head softly. Well that was a mistake...her brain started to throb again.

"Okay," Johnny was relieved, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I uh… I need to put this on your bruises." He said, holding up the tin.

Devi blinked at him, not understanding his new hesitation after everything he'd done so far. And then she looked down at herself. The worst of her bruising, aside from her brain, was her breasts. Mr. Fuck Face hadn't been too gentle in letting her know how much he appreaciated the small, unremarkable things. "Y-yeah."

"Are you sure, I can go get your friend… Tina or whatever."

Devi shook her head, sighing. "She's outta town…" It was true, Tenna was across the country, in Louisiana with her family for someone's birthday, or a wedding or something. Tenna came from a large Southern Family, so anything that served as a family reunion was celebrated for days and days with copious amounts of food. At least, that's what Tenna had told Devi in a bid to entice her to come along. Devi wasn't much for that kind of setting, but maybe she should have gone. Being treated like another grandbaby by Nana T would have been infinitely better than how the night had progressed. Now she was going to have to let Nny touch her more. That thought, once upon a time, would have thrilled her. Now… she didn't know. Emotions were confusing as all fucking hell. "It's okay.. I.. trust you." She said, adding "For now." As a quick afterthought.

Johnny nodded sadly, opening the tin and smearing some of the orange goo onto his fingers. He started at her ankle, and working his way up. He tried to force the way he was appreciating her body out of his head. Not usually one interested in physical aspects… he found he felt very different about Devi. Every inch of her was beautiful. He had to hold his breath as he helped her shift, so her could get to her hip. It curved so perfectly… he had to mentally start kicking his own ass.

She had a hard time sitting up straight… so Nny had to slip off of the table and knelt down between her knees to get close enough to… you know… her uh… breasts. Yeah, that was the word. His eyes flicked up to hers, and she nodded. Taking the deepest breath he'd ever taken, he started working.

They were soft under his fingers, but he knew from her groans that they hurt like hell. So he took care to be as gentle as he could. Rubbing little circles into the tender flesh. Johnny had to force himself to focus on the task, and not how nice they felt in his hands. But… it was almost a losing battle. His body had other plans, and he seriously contemplated punching himself in the dick to get it to stop.

Devi was trying to breathe evenly, and not look. But, his touch was featherlight. It had been… forever, since someone had touched her gently. That someone took the time to really take care of her. Sure, Tenna tried… but the woman was also batshit, and loud, and abrasive. Johnny though, was touching her like the china doll she felt that she was at the moment. When she glanced down at him, she could almost invision him as the kind, caring boyfriend she'd once wanted him to me… rather than the fuckwad that had tried to murder her.

Oh yeah… he had done that. Why wasn't that bothering her like it should? She'd never be able to explain it, but it was almost like a voice in her head, a pull at her heart that told her that Johnny C would never hurt her again. He would never even think of hurting her again. The sensation was overwhelming. Like every fiber of her body screaming at her that she was safe with him. And honestly… her ass had been saved far more by intuition than by logic. She trembled a little, and shifted her focus to him. He was intent on his task, focused. Eyes fixed on whatever spot he was working the balm into. She smiled softly to herself… he really was cute… you know when he wasn't a raging maniac.

Johnny shifted his focus to the other breast, repeating the same motion over and over again. Gentle circles, over every inch of abused skin. He knew she was watching him, so he did his best not to look up at her. Then his finger grazed over the small, pink pebble in the middle of her mound, and he heard her take a sudden breath. Looking up, her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be taking several, deep, long breaths. "D-did I hurt you?" He asked, timidly.

Devi shook her head softly, eyes opening slowly to look at him. "No, you didn't."

Johnny blinked at the look in her eyes, before it hit him what had happened. He blushed, looking away. "Uh… I… I think that's all I can do." His voice was barely audible, while he reached for the t shirt, helping her pull it over her head.

"Thank you…" She said, staring down into her lap. "You didn't have to-"

"I did. I had to… I'll always… have to. I'll always… be there… when you want me to be."

The sadness with which he said those words, felt like an ice pick to her heart. She frowned, looking up at him. "Nny… I…" She had to take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I can't forget what happened… it's molded so much of my life. I… I couldn't leave this apartment. I jumped at every noise. I was a wreck. You broke my heart…" Johnny's face fell, and he nodded, reaching for his coat. She grabbed his wrist. "Listen to me, Nny." She said, and he nodded, slowly sitting down on the table in front of her again. Her hand slid from his wrists, into his own hand.

"I can't forget it. And I never will. But… maybe… maybe now I can forgive you." She was looking deep into his eyes. "Maybe… we can… try this again. Just… slowly, you know?" Did she really just say that? Johnny's eyes were wide, and he looked like he was about to cry. Yep, she really had just said that.

She watched as Johnny slid off of the table, and on to his knees in front of her. He was holding her hand tightly between his, tears starting to fall slowly. "Devi I… that's… all I ever.. wanted . I-I don't deserve it… but…"

"Let me decide if it's deserved or not." She whispered, leaning in and pressing her forehead against his. Nny could only nod as Devi wrapped her arms around him, pulling him onto the couch next to her where she curled against his side… quickly and finally drifting off to sleep.


End file.
